


Being Brave

by TimeLadyVictorious



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Episode: s09e12 Hell Bent, Face the Raven, Gen, Hell Bent, whouffaldi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-22
Updated: 2017-11-22
Packaged: 2019-02-05 09:07:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12791304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TimeLadyVictorious/pseuds/TimeLadyVictorious
Summary: An alternate ending for Clara Oswald and the Doctor in Hell Bent.





	Being Brave

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Hell Bent](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/340965) by Steven Moffat. 



Clara Oswald picked up the neural block and held it behind her after quickly turning off the screen in the TARDIS. She had just watched a conversation unfold between the Doctor and Ashildr and had a pretty good idea of what was to come. _I’m not going to let it happen,_ she thought desperately.  
The Doctor and Ashildr walked inside and Clara backed away a little at the sight of them. “You okay?” the Doctor asked, seeing the expression on his companion’s face.  
Clara nodded. “Yeah.” Her fist tightened around the neural block hidden behind her. “Yeah, yeah. Just, you know, my pulse.”  
“Yeah, we’ll fix that somehow,” the Doctor said, looking at the ground for a quick moment before returning his gaze to hers. “I promise. You remember Ashildr, of course.”  
Clara barely spared a glance to the other woman. “Yeah, sure.”  
The Doctor gave her an odd look. “I thought you’d be more excited to see her.”  
“I was watching. On the monitor,” Clara blurted out, digging her fingernails into her other hand. She moved away from the console and the Doctor. She felt as if her heart should be pounding loudly, but it was eerily still, making a chill run down her spine. _I’m just a dead woman walking._  
“No, Doctor. Whatever you’re about to do, don’t do it,” Clara insisted as he moved closer to her. He gave a glance at the TARDIS console, where he had placed the neural block and surely expected it to still be.  
“It won’t hurt. It’ll be nothing. You’ll just pass out for a moment.” Clara could see the pain in his eyes as he spoke, but to her, it changed nothing. She knew what he was planning, and it would never be her choice.  
“And then?” she asked.  
The Doctor’s gaze left hers again and traveled around the room as he spoke. “When you wake, you’ll be fine.” It was obvious he was trying to locate the neural block. His eyes returned to her. “What are you hiding?” he asked. “What’s behind your back?”  
Clara shook her head, took a deep breath in, and revealed the block. “No,” she said simply before putting it back behind her. “I won’t give this to you.”  
“Clara, just listen to me,” the Doctor started.  
“Just say it. Say it, come on. Tell me,” Clara said. She could feel the tears rising in her throat. She already knew what he was about to say.  
The Doctor shook his head slightly. “When you wake up, you will have forgotten me. You’ll have forgotten we ever even met.”  
“And why would I want that?” Clara pointed out. She looked straight into his eyes, hoping they were burning into him. She wouldn’t let him do it. She couldn't.  
“Because it’s the only way,” the Doctor said. “That stuff in your head, the image of me; they could use it to find you.”  
Clara shook her head and closed her eyes before she spoke again. “Take me back to my death. I have to stop the Time Lords from finding you and causing more problems. It’s over, Doctor. I told you to get over it, but you just couldn’t. You just _had_ to come and get me.”  
The Doctor took a step closer to her, but Clara opened her eyes and stepped away from him. “I’m supposed to die, Doctor, don’t you see? Everything happens for a reason. It’s a fixed point in time. It can’t be changed. Wouldn’t you have said that about anything else?”  
“But this _can_ be changed, Clara,” the Doctor said. “Don’t you want to live? Don’t you want a normal life? I can’t let you die. I have a duty of care,” he said.  
“Are you sure it’s not something more than that?” Clara said, her voice shaking.  
“I’m trying to keep you safe,” the Doctor said, his eyebrows furrowing. _“Alive.”_  
“Why?” Clara said, her voice slightly higher than before. “Nobody’s ever safe. I’ve _never_ asked you for that, ever.” She took another step back. “These have been the best years of my life, and they are _mine._ Tomorrow is promised to no one, Doctor, but I insist upon my past. I am entitled to that. It’s mine.”  
The Doctor just stared at her sadly.  
“Doctor, I’m ready,” Clara said. “I’ve been ready for a long time. I wasn’t supposed to live, don’t you see? I need to do this. For both of us.”  
“Give me the neural block,” the Doctor said, holding out his hand and walking towards her. “I can’t let you die.”  
“But you can’t erase my memory,” Clara said.  
“No, but I can erase mine,” he said, his face grim. “If I forget you, they can’t trace any of my memories of you. They won’t be able to find you.”  
Clara’s eyes widened. She shook her head, her own eyebrows knitting together. "I can't let you do that, Doctor! I don't want you to forget me. I don't want you to forget everything we've done together."  
"You'd rather die?" he exclaimed, looking ever more serious. "I'm not going to sacrifice your life for my memories. You're worth more than that, Clara Oswald. You're right - you shouldn't have to forget. But if you're to live, one of us has to."  
Tears were beginning to blur Clara's vision. She took several quick steps back and held out the neural block in front of her. "Neither of us are going to forget," she stated harshly, and before the Doctor could react, she flung the block at the ground as hard as she could. The Doctor shouted out something unintelligible and leaped forward, his hands flapping in a desperate attempt to save it. The block landed with a sharp clanking noise, a couple of sparks flying off. A piece of it split off and skidded across the floor. Clara was already slamming her foot down on the machine, trying to destroy it, which proved to be more difficult than she expected. When she was done stomping on it, she picked it up and ran to the TARDIS door, past a staring Ashildr.  
"Clara, stop!" the Doctor shouted. "You're killing yourself!"  
"I know!" Clara swung open the doors, shooting him a quick glance with her tearful eyes. His own eyes were wide with horror, his mouth open, unable to form words quickly enough. He lunged towards her as she ran outside, into the last moments of the universe.  
Clara began running as fast as she could, right out of the building, barely taking in the brilliant sparks of light in the sky and all around her as the stars died. The planet they were on was filled with cracks and craters, some seeping with lava. Clara took the first chance she got to toss the block right into a deep crack, using her entire body to throw it and almost stumbling over. She gasped as she was pulled backwards by strong hands.  
"I'm sorry," Clara said, her voice wavering. "I had to."  
The hands turned her around, and she was facing the Doctor, who looked shocked and angry. "Look at everything I've done to save you," he said. "You try to kill yourself anyway."  
"I don't want to be saved," Clara cried, tears streaming down her face. "I wasn't meant to be saved. I know you don't want to lose someone else. You should never be alone. But I can't let you forget the time we've had together, and I'm not willing to, either. I can't go back to my old life with no memory of you. I know you think I'm being selfish, but I can't let you risk everything for me anymore." Clara couldn't hold back a small sob. She covered her mouth with a shaking hand as she awaited the Time Lord's response.  
"Clara… Clara Oswald, you're not being selfish," he said softly, the fury fading from his voice. "I am. I am the most selfish man in the universe right now."  
Clara couldn't keep back a small smile. "You're probably the only man in the universe right now."  
"That's true," the Doctor replied. "But once you've let go of your best friends so many times, watch them die... Well, I can't keep doing it. I can't keep letting that happen. And now, it's happening with you. Again." He sighed and let go of her. "I can still do it, even without the neural block."  
"How?" Clara gasped, jumping away from him quickly.  
"Telepathically. All I'd have to do is touch your head and I can remove your memories. It wouldn't be quite as painless, but it would work just as well. I'd have to make sure they aren't reawakened, though, or the Time Lords could still find you. I can't do it on myself, either."  
Clara shook her head wordlessly. Was this it? Was it all for nothing?  
The Doctor was silent for a moment. "I won't do it if you don't want me to, though. It's your choice. But know that we can't just keep running. You'd have to go back to the end of your timeline."  
"I know," Clara said, taking in a shuddery breath. "And I will never forget. It's time, Doctor. I'm ready to be brave again. One last time."  
"Clara Oswald," the Doctor sighed, staring at her with sad eyes. "You are one of the bravest people I've ever known."  
"You're not lying to me, are you?" Clara suddenly asked. "How do I know you aren't just going to remove my memories anyway? You've lied to me before, Doctor."  
"You're also one of the most clever people I've ever known," the Doctor replied. "But no, I'm not lying. I promise."  
Clara stepped closer to him again and took his hand. "Let's go back to the TARDIS, then. Let's finish our last adventure, Doctor."  
And so the two companions returned to the TARDIS, hand-in-hand. Clara wouldn't let go of his, even if he wanted to. She felt more alone than she ever had in her whole life, even though her best friend was with her.  
When they stepped into the old time machine, Clara walked over to the console and touched it gently, enjoying the warm hum of life it possessed. It may not have been the Doctor’s TARDIS, but it was very much like it, and it made her feel more somber.  
“So?” came a voice from a corner.  
Clara looked up. Her eyes met with Ashildr’s. “Are you staying with him?” Clara asked, looking at the Doctor. “Once I’m gone?”  
Ashildr shook her head. “No. I’m just hoping he’ll take me back to an earlier time than this. What do you think, Doctor?”  
“All right,” the Doctor simply said, not sparing her a glance. He walked around the console slowly, entering the date, time, and coordinates for their destination. Clara watched him, trying to see his face. He looked almost emotionless, but Clara could detect something else in his eyes. Something darker.  
“Hey,” Clara said, taking a few steps closer to him. “Remember what I told you before I faced the raven. You’re going to be alone again, yes. But don’t let that change you, no matter how furious you are. No matter how sad you are. Remember that this is my choice. This was always meant to happen. It’s a fixed point in time. If I can do it once, I can do it again.”  
The Doctor stopped moving, but kept his gaze on the console. The wheezing, groaning noise of the time machine changing location filled the room.  
“It’s time for us both to be brave again. Doctor, you musn’t let this change you. Please be a Doctor. Always be a Doctor. For me.”  
The Doctor looked up at her. “Clara.”  
“Yes, Doctor?” Clara replied. Her stomach felt like an empty pit and her whole body felt cold with the terror she was trying desperately to hide.  
“You were amazing. I don’t know what I’m going to do without you, my Clara. My Impossible Girl. I-”  
“Shush,” Clara said, breaking his words off with a tight hug. “We can’t do this now. I already know, remember?” She let out a shuddery breath as she listened to the Doctor’s. He put his arms around her in return. Clara closed her eyes, willing the moment to last forever. But, of course, time didn’t work like that. “I’m proud of you, Doctor,” she murmured. “Are you proud of me?”  
“Of course,” the Doctor whispered. “I just wish you weren’t always right.”  
“So do I,” Clara said sadly. She let go of the Doctor and looked into his eyes. “Thank you for everything,” she said, forcing herself to stay composed. “And goodbye.”  
“No, Clara Oswald, thank you,” the Doctor said softly. “For everything. And goodbye.”  
Clara forced herself to give him one last little smile, and tears began to spill out onto her cheeks. She turned around and walked over to the door and stopped. Taking a deep breath, she turned around and said, as bravely as she could, “Run, you clever boy, and remember me.”  
Without waiting to see the Doctor’s reaction, she opened the door, closed her eyes, and stepped out.  
Time resumed.


End file.
